Notes from the Labyrinth
Unobtainium and Dragons' Bones
this is matociquala's fault (and she says it's james_nicoll's fault) 
28th-Jul-2006 12:11 pm
ws: hamlet
Eleven things I will serve my best never to put in a fantasy novel unless I am trying to undermine them, and in fact could do without entirely from now on, thanks

1. The word "orb." Unless we're talking about orb-weaver spiders, in which case, rock on.

2. Beauty correlating with goodness.

3. Quests.

4. Protagonists who are protagonists by virtue of being Special, particularly if their Specialness correlates with #2.

5. Telepathic companion animals.

6. Young women who live in a cod-medieval society and yet, somehow, are athletic, assertive, bad at sewing, and generally dressed in trousers. See also #4.

7. Social predators (thieves, assassins, etc.) with whom the reader is supposed to sympathize. Particularly if we're supposed to sympathize because of #4.

8. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.

9. Heteronormativity. Likewise sexism, Default Fantasy Caucasianism, and the unquestioned assumption of middle-class values.

10. What Edward Gorey called P.R.O.s (Priceless Ritual Objects). See also #1, #3.

11. Saving The World. See also #8.
Comments 
28th-Jul-2006 05:44 pm (UTC)
But--but, number five is the main reason I read books when I was in junior high! It's just not good escapism without talking wolves, or horses, or dragons, or ducks, or bunnies or something! ^_^ *grin*

Or talking spaceships, those work too...
28th-Jul-2006 06:34 pm (UTC)
Yes; I can agree with foregoing everything but telepathic companion animals. It's hard to imagine a story that couldn't be enhanced by the presence of a telepathic companion animal.
29th-Jul-2006 07:31 am (UTC)
I wish people wouldn't say things like this. My natural contrary tendency immediately causes me to look for an instant inarguable counter-example, and then think it through.

I could have managed without the image of Elizabeth Bennett's ball dress draped with her telepathic squirrel, not to mention Sam Spade with his telepathic rat peeping out of his greatcoat, and Hamlet holding, skull-wise, the bowl containing his telepathic goldfish.

The terrible thing is how easy it is to think of the appropriate animal for the person -- I wonder if that's where Philip Pullman started with his daemons?
29th-Jul-2006 02:22 pm (UTC)
I can't be sorry for having provoked such amusing thoughts in you.
3rd-Aug-2006 12:00 am (UTC)
That, and a desire to resurrect something buried by OMG EVIL Christianity.
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